No Way Out

by Callen Damornen

Nothing Here to See

I feel bad and sad

I doubt what I feel is real

I know he loves me

But why does it come at a price

At times it feels so good

He sweeps me off my feet

I hold him and never want to let go

I look into his eyes and can't help it

I love him, no way out

Cold and pouring rain

Chilling Friday morning

It's over for me and I'm adamant

I scramble for my meager possessions

I'm reminded inside of the mean-streaks,

The open hostilities, name calling, screaming

I leave the chaos with police escort

Kids in tow who cringe at the scene

He stands far away from me as I leave

As I drive by he pleas for me to stay

It cuts me to the bone as resolve fades

Then I remember the nastiness and speed away.

I can't reason this feeling I feel for him

It feels so right and then so wrong

I believe his love is true, but shallow

If I go back he will be the man I love

And then as the tide turns

Dr. Jekyll becomes Mr. Hyde

The madness and chaos of dysfunction

It loses me in that rough sea

I no longer know who I am

I only serve to mirror what he wants

And walk on eggshells to keep the peace

Over the years my life was a lie

Afraid to speak my mind, express my needs

The life he wanted superceded mine

The toll to gain his compromise

Made me do things I should not

And things of which I am not proud

In order to keep the illusion of the life he wanted

In the end destroying my soul

Like a vampire's victim seduced in his ways

He drained my life's blood until I wished death would come.

I'm sorry I have to hurt him

To save me and the kids

Before long I know he will turn tears to anger

We will have his vengence and wrath

He will finalize my fears when he shows

His love was never really true

I was only there to praise and comfort him

When my usefulenss wears out

He will move on

And I will lovingingly wish him well.

© 2010 Callen Damornen